"I apologize in advance for the length"
I am in charge of picking up two other children from school, other than my daughter everyday. Ahh!, the life of a carpool Mom. It actually allows me the privilege to so many wonderful conversations. It offers the opportunity to share and teach them in a way that is casual without them realizing that I am teaching them. I love the conversations. I learn and they learn. They have incredible imaginations and ideas of how the world should be. I am one of those Moms that if I hear someone say something that is not right I get excited, because there is a new found opportunity to demonstrate something different. On this particular day my daughter Giordana and the other girl in the car (let us call her Jane) were discussing the other child (let us call him Jake) not liking another kid. Both Jane and Giordana have very strong personalities. The discussion started to become an argument, until I put a halt to it. This was indeed a great opportunity for the three of us to have a conversation about assumptions. Jane and Giordana insisted that they knew how Jake felt. Now, how could they possibly be certain if neither one of them is Jake? Jake had already been dropped off at home, and was not there to put his two cents in. I pointed out to the girls that neither one of them could be certain. They were assuming that they knew. So much trouble comes from assumptions. We always like to be right, so much so that we are capable of stepping inside of another person, and knowing exactly what they are thinking and feeling. I explained to the two young ones that they were not Jake, their little argument was senseless, and by the way what difference does it make anyway. I asked them why they were spending so much energy on what Jake felt and thought. Neither Jane nor Giordana answered. What was more interesting to me was that I realized that we do this as adult’s everyday. Don’t we? We spend a lot of time assuming to know and, discussing what someone else did, why they did it, what made them do it and so on. We like to analyze everything down to the ground instead of putting the attention on ourselves, and what would we like to create in our own lives. My experience has taught me that what is really happening in these situations is that no one wants to talk about the elephant in the room. Jane and Giordana were beginning to have an argument, because it was easier to argue than for them to discuss their pain. In simplest terms, they both have issues. They irritate each other. They have never had a discussion in regards to what bothers them about the other. They have just ignored it. Now, poor Jake is in the middle of them. Sound familiar? We many times lose our seniority to other people and then resent them for having it. We let things go that are really not o.k. We many times do not feel respected by others and we let it go. We do not feel appreciated and harbor resentment. Then when a situation occurs, we can talk and talk about them forever trying to figure out what makes them tick. We pull the incidents a part. Women especially do this with men. We do not want to rock the boat so we let it go with an excuse for his behavior. We do not really make our needs known, but assume that everyone knows what we need. We think if I am really good then they will finally notice me and they will want to give me time, love and appreciation. News flash! It does not work that way, and never will.
When you assume so much about another, you have really walked away from yourself. Your responsibility is you. If your energy is wrapped up in, assuming it is not in your creations. Never assume that you know what is going on with another person or, how he or she feels. You never really know. People hide all kinds of things about themselves. Instead, how about trying to feel allowing, and allow those people to be who they are no matter what. When you are allowing you also give yourself a gift. You can stand in your power. It is exhausting assuming what we do not know. Instead try being certain. You will gain energy and learn how to manage yourself.
About my blog
I am the single parent of two girls, and I have to pat myself on the back. I have done a miraculous job. I have been quite successful. Now, how you measure my success is up to you. However, I will tell you that my children are happy and healthy. My youngest has her own mind, she is independent, and does well in school. My oldest is disabled. She has spent most of her life in hospitals, but she is now happy and healthy. Parenting is becoming more and more challenging. Not only am I single Mom, but I am a single woman, and I have been through a lot to say the least. It has not been easy. I have had the drug addict abusive boyfriend who came back more than once, the husband that disappeared, I have been on welfare, sat by the hospital bed of my oldest child, gone back to school and studied for midterms and finals in hospital rooms, started my own business and received a masters degree. Sound like a lot? This is only some of my life experiences. The greatest thing about all of my experiences is that I have learned from all of them, and they have made me who I am today. I do believe that I have tips and advice to offer. We all have stories to share. I hear women struggling through relationships and parenthood. I hear men trying to figure out how to raise their children alone. I am hear to share what I have done that works, the mistakes that I have had to learn from and offer tips and advice. I do not believe that my way is the only way. I can just share what I know to be true for me. I invite you to make your own judgment call. How we live our lives is how our children will most likely live theirs.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Friday, November 6, 2009
Is Discernment Necessary
The below post is a sequel to the previous post.
I asked Pan, how we can practice discernment if we are not supposed to think. Is discernment necessary? This is what he said.
When you begin to move from a place of certainty and commanding, discernment becomes unnecessary. You will no longer need it because you will be functioning from a place of knowing. Thinking has a great possibility of stopping your creations, because when you think doubt has the opportunity to creep in. It can be quite difficult to think without doubt. Discernment can also create doubt. It activates the thinking, which makes you ask the question why. The question why will get you into trouble. I am not saying that you should not look at your patterns. However, very few of you know how to look and when to stop looking. You tend to get stuck in the search, not show up on the other side to create change, and move forward. You spend many hours on the couch asking why and looking at your past and wondering why and how about your future. Do you see how all of this asking and wondering why can get you into trouble? It too stops your creation. When you move from a place of certainty, you are already sure there is no need to ask why. You stand in the stillness and observe the opportunities and possibilities coming forward. I know you are wondering then how do you make good choices. From where I stand, any choice you make is o.k. If you do not like the choice that you made, then simply make a different one. You are thinking that it really is not always that easy. As long as you see it, and think that it is hard then it will be so. How about instead of thinking that it is hard, even if your past has proven to you that it is, choose for it to be easy. You just might be surprised by the outcome. You all really work too hard to create. Creation is a simple flowing process. The why, and how is what makes it difficult.
I pondered this for a moment and then another thought came to mind. I understood what he was saying, but I found myself just a bit confused.
Do we need to plot out what we want like creating a schedule or a process?
Um, again with the thinking. If you must you can. I suggest that you observe how much you put into your process. How much time do you spend there? Does your process contain flexibility? Many times it does not. If it does not work out exactly the way you want it to you spend time judging yourself and your creation, and you become disappointed, instead of seeing the beauty in it all. Inflexibility stops the universe from delivering your creation with smoothness. When you can be flexible, the creation can show up in the best possibility. Do you see how you are still in control? A tree keeps its roots as it bends with the wind. It stands still and tall and moves only when needed. Now if that tree was to fight the wind it would surely snap. Yes, many times the wind is too strong for the tree and it snaps anyway, but this only happens when great change is necessary. A clearing out must occur. Sitting in the stillness and watching the realm of possibilities float in front of you, then making a choice is the way to practice creating with a certainty and a knowing. When you can see and feel certainty you tap into your mastery of creating. You will create without moving to the why and how, and then you will not need to use discernment. Now, let us go have some fun and practice. Sit in your center, observe without moving and thinking, begin to see the energy around you, see the colors, and see the possibilities. Now what do you want to create?
Make a choice and go for it. There is no judgment.
I asked Pan, how we can practice discernment if we are not supposed to think. Is discernment necessary? This is what he said.
When you begin to move from a place of certainty and commanding, discernment becomes unnecessary. You will no longer need it because you will be functioning from a place of knowing. Thinking has a great possibility of stopping your creations, because when you think doubt has the opportunity to creep in. It can be quite difficult to think without doubt. Discernment can also create doubt. It activates the thinking, which makes you ask the question why. The question why will get you into trouble. I am not saying that you should not look at your patterns. However, very few of you know how to look and when to stop looking. You tend to get stuck in the search, not show up on the other side to create change, and move forward. You spend many hours on the couch asking why and looking at your past and wondering why and how about your future. Do you see how all of this asking and wondering why can get you into trouble? It too stops your creation. When you move from a place of certainty, you are already sure there is no need to ask why. You stand in the stillness and observe the opportunities and possibilities coming forward. I know you are wondering then how do you make good choices. From where I stand, any choice you make is o.k. If you do not like the choice that you made, then simply make a different one. You are thinking that it really is not always that easy. As long as you see it, and think that it is hard then it will be so. How about instead of thinking that it is hard, even if your past has proven to you that it is, choose for it to be easy. You just might be surprised by the outcome. You all really work too hard to create. Creation is a simple flowing process. The why, and how is what makes it difficult.
I pondered this for a moment and then another thought came to mind. I understood what he was saying, but I found myself just a bit confused.
Do we need to plot out what we want like creating a schedule or a process?
Um, again with the thinking. If you must you can. I suggest that you observe how much you put into your process. How much time do you spend there? Does your process contain flexibility? Many times it does not. If it does not work out exactly the way you want it to you spend time judging yourself and your creation, and you become disappointed, instead of seeing the beauty in it all. Inflexibility stops the universe from delivering your creation with smoothness. When you can be flexible, the creation can show up in the best possibility. Do you see how you are still in control? A tree keeps its roots as it bends with the wind. It stands still and tall and moves only when needed. Now if that tree was to fight the wind it would surely snap. Yes, many times the wind is too strong for the tree and it snaps anyway, but this only happens when great change is necessary. A clearing out must occur. Sitting in the stillness and watching the realm of possibilities float in front of you, then making a choice is the way to practice creating with a certainty and a knowing. When you can see and feel certainty you tap into your mastery of creating. You will create without moving to the why and how, and then you will not need to use discernment. Now, let us go have some fun and practice. Sit in your center, observe without moving and thinking, begin to see the energy around you, see the colors, and see the possibilities. Now what do you want to create?
Make a choice and go for it. There is no judgment.
Thinking Stops Your Creation
Below is an older post for those of you that have read it on my other site. I posted it for those that have not read it. The next post is a sequel to this one.
One of my favorite places to visit upon entering my dream state is the plant and mineral kingdom. I have had many wonderful conversations with Pan. He is the doorkeeper of this kingdom. He is known for being the wild one. He is very gentle, strong, and kind. He is not at all as myths portray him. He wanted me to be sure that I told you that. Recently he asked me to share a lesson that he has been teaching me. Enjoy.
To create what you desire is really a very simple process. All it requires is precision. However, I understand that as beings of light having a human experience, you have forgotten how to use your tools. There was a time that you could create anything. You had fun sitting in the mineral plant kingdom creating all kinds of crystals. This was done in co-creation. With the veils of separatism, you have forgotten what co-creation is along with the laws of the universe.
All that is required is a simple flick of your hand in the process. Why do so many of you have difficulty creating? You bring doubt into the process. This is your number one detriment. You think to yourselves oh that would be so great if I could do this, and then you instantly go into why you cannot do what you wanted. You allow your thoughts, your mind, and your egos to get in the way. The ego was created to keep you safe, and its judgments are beneficial, however it is time to be the masterful creators that you are meant to be. It is time for the ego to be released. Once you learn that you are always safe, there will be no need for this ego. Enough of that, I have given you already too much to ponder. No thinking allowed. I am laughing. I know that this is difficult. Please laugh at yourself and be amused. The laughter heals. There are no mistakes here just practice. The more you practice the more it becomes natural and you begin to own what you know. Now let us begin. Consider something small that you would like to happen. Take a deep breath, and see it, feel it. What would be the first step to you achieving what you want? Continue to breathe. It is in the breath that you will find the answers and as long as you are breathing, the mind has a difficult time showing up. The breath gets in the way. It creates a block for the thoughts. When you see and feel the step that needs to be taken, just do it. No thinking, do it. Do you see how the thinking would stop you? Do you see how it cannot only slow down your creation, but halt it altogether. The rational mind hampers you. There is absolutely nothing that you cannot create. Yes, using your mind to make choices is great, but then turn it off before it gets to the reasons why you cannot. Think of it as a game even a fantasy if you must. Start there. In your dreams and games, you have all kind of options. You say that this is just that a game. I tell you, you are living a game. It is all the same. Know that what you create is already in existence. To pull it in your reality all you have to do is choose. Think of all the choices that you stop yourself from making. Just decide. If you do not like that choice, make a different one. From the choosing you will learn how easy it is, you will become more precise. Start small and remember the great beings you already are.
One of my favorite places to visit upon entering my dream state is the plant and mineral kingdom. I have had many wonderful conversations with Pan. He is the doorkeeper of this kingdom. He is known for being the wild one. He is very gentle, strong, and kind. He is not at all as myths portray him. He wanted me to be sure that I told you that. Recently he asked me to share a lesson that he has been teaching me. Enjoy.
To create what you desire is really a very simple process. All it requires is precision. However, I understand that as beings of light having a human experience, you have forgotten how to use your tools. There was a time that you could create anything. You had fun sitting in the mineral plant kingdom creating all kinds of crystals. This was done in co-creation. With the veils of separatism, you have forgotten what co-creation is along with the laws of the universe.
All that is required is a simple flick of your hand in the process. Why do so many of you have difficulty creating? You bring doubt into the process. This is your number one detriment. You think to yourselves oh that would be so great if I could do this, and then you instantly go into why you cannot do what you wanted. You allow your thoughts, your mind, and your egos to get in the way. The ego was created to keep you safe, and its judgments are beneficial, however it is time to be the masterful creators that you are meant to be. It is time for the ego to be released. Once you learn that you are always safe, there will be no need for this ego. Enough of that, I have given you already too much to ponder. No thinking allowed. I am laughing. I know that this is difficult. Please laugh at yourself and be amused. The laughter heals. There are no mistakes here just practice. The more you practice the more it becomes natural and you begin to own what you know. Now let us begin. Consider something small that you would like to happen. Take a deep breath, and see it, feel it. What would be the first step to you achieving what you want? Continue to breathe. It is in the breath that you will find the answers and as long as you are breathing, the mind has a difficult time showing up. The breath gets in the way. It creates a block for the thoughts. When you see and feel the step that needs to be taken, just do it. No thinking, do it. Do you see how the thinking would stop you? Do you see how it cannot only slow down your creation, but halt it altogether. The rational mind hampers you. There is absolutely nothing that you cannot create. Yes, using your mind to make choices is great, but then turn it off before it gets to the reasons why you cannot. Think of it as a game even a fantasy if you must. Start there. In your dreams and games, you have all kind of options. You say that this is just that a game. I tell you, you are living a game. It is all the same. Know that what you create is already in existence. To pull it in your reality all you have to do is choose. Think of all the choices that you stop yourself from making. Just decide. If you do not like that choice, make a different one. From the choosing you will learn how easy it is, you will become more precise. Start small and remember the great beings you already are.
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