Unwavering Thoughts of Your Wanting

Seeking the approval of others places a veil over our eyes, which prevents us from seeing the truth. We become incapable of seeing the love or the belief that others actually have in us as well as our own brilliance. We step away from the truth of who we are. Many of us pray really hard, and go to church believing that being good will show The Great Spirit that we are deserving, Spirit will grant us our wishes, and take care of us. Then tragedy hits and we wonder why. We become angry and resentful, and turn away from Spirit as well as ourselves. When we turn away from Spirit, we no longer acknowledge our true selves. I will tell you the why to the tragedy. I cannot tell you specifically why your particular tragedy happened, but what I can tell you is that it did not happen because you were not good enough. We do not get miracles because of the way we live our lives. Spirit does not care about whether we are right or wrong. Spirit is not in a position of approving or not approving. Spirit approves of us always not matter what. It is we who do not approve. Spirit wants us to have an amazing experience and does not decide what is amazing based on what we did or did not do. We have the total power of choice. Right and wrong is irrelevant. I have looked back through my life and seen that no matter what the situation that arose, I was excited, I felt big and strong and then I waivered and shrank to smallness. This is when I did not get what I wanted. I had to approve of me and believe that I deserve what I wanted. Just look at children. They are unwavering about their desires. They do not even understand when we say no. They are the closest to heaven, because they just go there. We have had years of experience and training to teach them that their dreams will not make it. And, so we continue the cycle by teaching them. We tell them no, you cannot do that, what will others think, you have to be good or else. Do we really support their dreams? How can we when we do not support our own, and we are always telling them what is not possible. We squash them before they even get out of the gate. I use to wait for Spirit to say yes you can, here you are, go for it you deserve it. When Spirit all along was saying, “I have given you talents beyond imagine, use them and be fruitful.” However, I use to be unable to hear or see it, because of the veil that was over my eyes. I would get really close to my destination and then I would sabotage myself, and say, "No I cannot." I did not really think that I deserved it. I use to live in a place of lack, non-deserving, and void of self-love. I did not think that I was good enough. Our standards of ourselves are actually too low. For the next 30 days or at least until the end of the year, I challenge you to NOT think a single negative thought, to be unwavering in the belief in yourself. Do not allow doubt to filter into your mind, and if it does sing it a song of love to make it disappear. Think and feel only those things that you truly desire to happen in your life. Allow yourself to play with feeling your desires. See them in your mind’s eye, feel them, and write about them. Let all of your thoughts and feelings be consumed by them. Let me know what you experience.

Assumptions

"I apologize in advance for the length"

I am in charge of picking up two other children from school, other than my daughter everyday. Ahh!, the life of a carpool Mom. It actually allows me the privilege to so many wonderful conversations. It offers the opportunity to share and teach them in a way that is casual without them realizing that I am teaching them. I love the conversations. I learn and they learn. They have incredible imaginations and ideas of how the world should be. I am one of those Moms that if I hear someone say something that is not right I get excited, because there is a new found opportunity to demonstrate something different. On this particular day my daughter Giordana and the other girl in the car (let us call her Jane) were discussing the other child (let us call him Jake) not liking another kid. Both Jane and Giordana have very strong personalities. The discussion started to become an argument, until I put a halt to it. This was indeed a great opportunity for the three of us to have a conversation about assumptions. Jane and Giordana insisted that they knew how Jake felt. Now, how could they possibly be certain if neither one of them is Jake? Jake had already been dropped off at home, and was not there to put his two cents in. I pointed out to the girls that neither one of them could be certain. They were assuming that they knew. So much trouble comes from assumptions. We always like to be right, so much so that we are capable of stepping inside of another person, and knowing exactly what they are thinking and feeling. I explained to the two young ones that they were not Jake, their little argument was senseless, and by the way what difference does it make anyway. I asked them why they were spending so much energy on what Jake felt and thought. Neither Jane nor Giordana answered. What was more interesting to me was that I realized that we do this as adult’s everyday. Don’t we? We spend a lot of time assuming to know and, discussing what someone else did, why they did it, what made them do it and so on. We like to analyze everything down to the ground instead of putting the attention on ourselves, and what would we like to create in our own lives. My experience has taught me that what is really happening in these situations is that no one wants to talk about the elephant in the room. Jane and Giordana were beginning to have an argument, because it was easier to argue than for them to discuss their pain. In simplest terms, they both have issues. They irritate each other. They have never had a discussion in regards to what bothers them about the other. They have just ignored it. Now, poor Jake is in the middle of them. Sound familiar? We many times lose our seniority to other people and then resent them for having it. We let things go that are really not o.k. We many times do not feel respected by others and we let it go. We do not feel appreciated and harbor resentment. Then when a situation occurs, we can talk and talk about them forever trying to figure out what makes them tick. We pull the incidents a part. Women especially do this with men. We do not want to rock the boat so we let it go with an excuse for his behavior. We do not really make our needs known, but assume that everyone knows what we need. We think if I am really good then they will finally notice me and they will want to give me time, love and appreciation. News flash! It does not work that way, and never will.

When you assume so much about another, you have really walked away from yourself. Your responsibility is you. If your energy is wrapped up in, assuming it is not in your creations. Never assume that you know what is going on with another person or, how he or she feels. You never really know. People hide all kinds of things about themselves. Instead, how about trying to feel allowing, and allow those people to be who they are no matter what. When you are allowing you also give yourself a gift. You can stand in your power. It is exhausting assuming what we do not know. Instead try being certain. You will gain energy and learn how to manage yourself.

Is Discernment Necessary

The below post is a sequel to the previous post.

I asked Pan, how we can practice discernment if we are not supposed to think. Is discernment necessary? This is what he said.

When you begin to move from a place of certainty and commanding, discernment becomes unnecessary. You will no longer need it because you will be functioning from a place of knowing. Thinking has a great possibility of stopping your creations, because when you think doubt has the opportunity to creep in. It can be quite difficult to think without doubt. Discernment can also create doubt. It activates the thinking, which makes you ask the question why. The question why will get you into trouble. I am not saying that you should not look at your patterns. However, very few of you know how to look and when to stop looking. You tend to get stuck in the search, not show up on the other side to create change, and move forward. You spend many hours on the couch asking why and looking at your past and wondering why and how about your future. Do you see how all of this asking and wondering why can get you into trouble? It too stops your creation. When you move from a place of certainty, you are already sure there is no need to ask why. You stand in the stillness and observe the opportunities and possibilities coming forward. I know you are wondering then how do you make good choices. From where I stand, any choice you make is o.k. If you do not like the choice that you made, then simply make a different one. You are thinking that it really is not always that easy. As long as you see it, and think that it is hard then it will be so. How about instead of thinking that it is hard, even if your past has proven to you that it is, choose for it to be easy. You just might be surprised by the outcome. You all really work too hard to create. Creation is a simple flowing process. The why, and how is what makes it difficult.

I pondered this for a moment and then another thought came to mind. I understood what he was saying, but I found myself just a bit confused.

Do we need to plot out what we want like creating a schedule or a process?

Um, again with the thinking. If you must you can. I suggest that you observe how much you put into your process. How much time do you spend there? Does your process contain flexibility? Many times it does not. If it does not work out exactly the way you want it to you spend time judging yourself and your creation, and you become disappointed, instead of seeing the beauty in it all. Inflexibility stops the universe from delivering your creation with smoothness. When you can be flexible, the creation can show up in the best possibility. Do you see how you are still in control? A tree keeps its roots as it bends with the wind. It stands still and tall and moves only when needed. Now if that tree was to fight the wind it would surely snap. Yes, many times the wind is too strong for the tree and it snaps anyway, but this only happens when great change is necessary. A clearing out must occur. Sitting in the stillness and watching the realm of possibilities float in front of you, then making a choice is the way to practice creating with a certainty and a knowing. When you can see and feel certainty you tap into your mastery of creating. You will create without moving to the why and how, and then you will not need to use discernment. Now, let us go have some fun and practice. Sit in your center, observe without moving and thinking, begin to see the energy around you, see the colors, and see the possibilities. Now what do you want to create?

Make a choice and go for it. There is no judgment.

Thinking Stops Your Creation

Below is an older post for those of you that have read it on my other site. I posted it for those that have not read it. The next post is a sequel to this one.


One of my favorite places to visit upon entering my dream state is the plant and mineral kingdom. I have had many wonderful conversations with Pan. He is the doorkeeper of this kingdom. He is known for being the wild one. He is very gentle, strong, and kind. He is not at all as myths portray him. He wanted me to be sure that I told you that. Recently he asked me to share a lesson that he has been teaching me. Enjoy.

To create what you desire is really a very simple process. All it requires is precision. However, I understand that as beings of light having a human experience, you have forgotten how to use your tools. There was a time that you could create anything. You had fun sitting in the mineral plant kingdom creating all kinds of crystals. This was done in co-creation. With the veils of separatism, you have forgotten what co-creation is along with the laws of the universe.

All that is required is a simple flick of your hand in the process. Why do so many of you have difficulty creating? You bring doubt into the process. This is your number one detriment. You think to yourselves oh that would be so great if I could do this, and then you instantly go into why you cannot do what you wanted. You allow your thoughts, your mind, and your egos to get in the way. The ego was created to keep you safe, and its judgments are beneficial, however it is time to be the masterful creators that you are meant to be. It is time for the ego to be released. Once you learn that you are always safe, there will be no need for this ego. Enough of that, I have given you already too much to ponder. No thinking allowed. I am laughing. I know that this is difficult. Please laugh at yourself and be amused. The laughter heals. There are no mistakes here just practice. The more you practice the more it becomes natural and you begin to own what you know. Now let us begin. Consider something small that you would like to happen. Take a deep breath, and see it, feel it. What would be the first step to you achieving what you want? Continue to breathe. It is in the breath that you will find the answers and as long as you are breathing, the mind has a difficult time showing up. The breath gets in the way. It creates a block for the thoughts. When you see and feel the step that needs to be taken, just do it. No thinking, do it. Do you see how the thinking would stop you? Do you see how it cannot only slow down your creation, but halt it altogether. The rational mind hampers you. There is absolutely nothing that you cannot create. Yes, using your mind to make choices is great, but then turn it off before it gets to the reasons why you cannot. Think of it as a game even a fantasy if you must. Start there. In your dreams and games, you have all kind of options. You say that this is just that a game. I tell you, you are living a game. It is all the same. Know that what you create is already in existence. To pull it in your reality all you have to do is choose. Think of all the choices that you stop yourself from making. Just decide. If you do not like that choice, make a different one. From the choosing you will learn how easy it is, you will become more precise. Start small and remember the great beings you already are.

Stop Those Self-defeating Thoughts

I awoke this morning feeling less than confident and filled with many voices. There were many thoughts swimming around my head as if in a race. The thoughts were not caring, supportive, or loving. They were self-defeating. They were the ramblings of a mind telling me why I should not, could not, can’t, not good enough, I am a failure and it went on and on. I kept taking deep breaths searching for the present moment, searching for my divinity that says I can do anything, and I am everything. I was quickly reminded why my teachers and guides have been instructing me to stop thinking. These thoughts were making me feel awful. I did not want to get out of bed and face the world. However, today was an important day. I had been anticipating it for the past few days. Today I have the opportunity to step on the path of a second chance at a dream that I had many years ago. Today I had a job interview. This was no way for me to proceed successfully. I had to silent the voices and thoughts moving around my head. These voices were going to be my doom, and stop my creation of landing this job, before I even had the opportunity. Luckily, I knew just what to do. I was able to observe thoughts without engaging with and stepping towards them. I knew that they were not who I am at all. They were completely self-loathing, and there was a peeling away of whom I am not happening. Many times these thoughts will appear as they are being released from our energy especially as we awake from the dream state. Our subconscious and spirits do a lot of work on the ethereal plane at night as we sleep. However, as we move back into the body as we awake, those things that we did not release while sleeping, sometimes take a hold of us and we awake feeling awful. They can disorient us, and make us not feel safe. There are a few tools that you can use to stop these thoughts:

1. Be the observer. Notice that you are not these thoughts. This will help you create a separation from your thoughts and shift back into who you are.

2. As you observe notice how these thoughts are making you feel, and shift your emotions to something that feels good such as a great sense of well-being.

3. Put a smile on your face and breathe. Your breath becomes stagnant while you sleep. Breathe new life into your body. Breathe in success, certainty, and well-being.

4. Sit in a meditative position, take a deep breath, follow your breath, see a rose out in front of you, and ask it to collect up doubt and failure out of your space.

(The breathing and rose techniques are available on my “Tools to Stay Present CD” http://www.donahspassions.com/meditationcd.html)

I was fortunate enough to remove those self-defeating thoughts from my head. I went to my interview excited, successful, capable, confident, and gracious. Looks like I will be getting my second chance. So far, the thoughts still have not creped back up. I am feeling great. Try out the exercises that I have offered you. Allow them to be playful. Remember, no thinking, notice the thoughts that rummage around. They are not who you are. You are so much more that you can ever imagine. Be the light you are meant to be.

The Feeling of Stuck

The feeling of being stuck for me is one of feeling like a caged animal. I become a large ferocious cat pacing back in forth in a cage waiting to explode. I hate the feeling of stuck. It makes me feel angry, and a little crazy. I can feel it in my whole body, straight down to my toes. When I have felt stuck, what comes with it is the overwhelming need to move. It is like wearing a suit that is too small. I cannot breath and, I feel restricted. I absolutely do not like limitations just as much as I do not like it when someone tells me that I cannot. You could say that I am even somewhat of a rebel. I do not like rules and regulations. Most of them make no sense. This feeling of stuck takes away my freedom, and my right to choose. Just like a big ferocious cat, I sit in my cage and wait quietly. I become really present, and observant of everything around me, and as soon as I see movement, I roar very loudly. My roar is so loud that the universe shakes and the stuck breaks a part. I wiggle, and slither to break free of the chains, and then I pounce. I use my frustration and anger as a catalyst for movement. I move my body. Gabrielle Roth says, “If you move the body the psyche will heal itself”. This has held true in my own life. The key is to find stillness in the movement. Moving within and watching the waves as they grow taller, and then shrink down. I have felt this feeling of stuck and watched others in this place. Some people allow it to beat them down and inertia sets in. Others run around in circles not realizing that the path they are on is leading back to the same beginning point. The commonality is that unless you allow change to float in and accept it like a lover you will stay in the dark. How do we embrace the change especially when it comes in like a tornado? I have sat back and evaluated my life over and over finding the places where the tornado blew through. We think that we can prepare for the tornado, but you really cannot. Life has a way of taking your preparations, throwing them out the window, and forcing you to create on the spot. I have reinvented myself so many times that I am surprised at myself. I never saw myself as the chameleon, but my loved ones would tell you differently. When my daughter Annika was born and I found out, she was ill. They rushed her off to a separate hospital from me. It took me days before I realized that the ground beneath my feet was shaking like an earthquake. The earth was sucking me in. I am one of those people that simply do what is needed and, necessary in the moment. It can be days before I realize the magnitude of what happened. With Annika, I think it took me years. It was not until I was no longer able to lift myself up that I realized the storm was forcing me into submission. It was not until I allowed myself to be cradled in the tornado that I began to regain my strength and find myself once again. Remember the ferocious cat? I have had no choice, but to learn what they know all too well. Cats know how to be patient and watch the tides and tornado's come in. My experiences have taught me how to sense them and flow with them instead of against them. There was a time that I fought them, how silly I was, and how painful it was. You cannot fight turbulent waters. They will take you over and consume you like fire, and you will drown. There is another way; it is called flowing. You take a deep breath and step right into the tornado, but you wait and observe like the cat looking for a place to plant your footing. At first, it feels as though you have no control, and you shake, you may scream and you may fall down. Then you get the hang of it, and the shaking becomes rocking, and you find your rhythm. The breath becomes calm and powerful. You begin to feel and hear the tide. You become one with it. Change happens and you realize that you are better for it. You look around you and the world looks different or have you become different. The ferocious cat becomes a kitten when it is set free, and you realize that you are the one that conjured up the storm. It was the only way for what you desired to appear. It was the only way to receive your gifts. It was the only way for you to connect to the deeper parts of the feminine within. This is the courageous Journey to a woman’s joyous life.

If you would like to learn how to step into the flow, please join and Denise Cooper me October 17th at 10:00 am where we will be sharing the secrets of finding a joyous life.

If you are ready to:
•Learn how your habits and sense of well-being are sabotaging your happiness.
•Learn how to say no, to what you do not want and say yes, to what you do want.
•Learn how to visualize what you want and let your vision inspire you every day.
•Learn how to relax flow in the middle of a storm.

Insanity is doing the same thing repeatedly, expecting different results.
Are You READY for something different?

Workshop Cost: $179.00 includes meals and materials
$75.00 for overnight lodging

Location: www.medissage.org

For more information please contact me at donah@donahspassions.com. To see Denise Cooper’s blog visit http://coachhr.wordpress.com/

Co-Creative Parenting

I happened to mention to a few friends, that I would love to move back to NY, how I discussed the idea of moving with my daughter, and she is onboard with the decision. I received a look of surprise that was both amusing and unnerving. Did I say something wrong? “But, you are the parent”, was the response that I received. Yes, I am the parent, but I believe in co-creation. I cannot create something that involves another human being that is capable of making choices, and expect a good outcome unless they are on board with my creation. My daughter and I co-create. Co-creation keeps the household that we share in joyous harmony. I am not saying that I do not have rules for her to follow. I am not saying that I do not insist that she does what I say. I simply recognize that certain decisions involve both of us.

When Giordana was little, I learned that if I forced her to do something that she was not in alignment with, the resistance was so great that I would work until the point of exhaustion and ultimately regret it. I believe that parenting should be a co-creative process. We are not the owners, nor the dictators of our children. We are meant to guide them through there experiences, and be there when they need assistance. We as parents are here to teach them how to move through the world with ease and success. The rest involves co-creation. For instance, if I think we need to create a new experience such as a new car, I let Giordana know what I am trying to achieve and she assists me in that creation. I started doing this with her when she was about 2 or 3 years old. . I would ask if I could speak to the wise Giordana (meaning the wise soul that existed within her). Her face would change, and I would then hear a different voice, it was funny. I would inform her of what I wanted to do, and then she would pause for a moment and say “o.k. it is done”, then go back to whatever she was doing. When children are small, they have an innate understanding of the Law of Attraction. They know how to create exactly what they want. We as adults destroy their understanding of this Law by telling them all of the reasons why they cannot have, or do something. Have you ever noticed the look on a child’s face when you tell them no? They always have an incredulous expression. We are meant to be creative beings. A child accepting no goes against their natural intuitive abilities. As adults, we forget how easy it is. For us it requires, discipline, and focus until we remember the ease. My form of parenting may be a bit different, but imagine creating your family environment without resistance. For this process to work, what is also required of me is to be open to different ideas. I have to be allowing, and willing to see other possibilities. I must be humble, respectful, and listen. I do not parent with control and manipulation. I parent with the understanding that we are all beings of light; we are connected and have a purpose. It works for me!!!