I awoke this morning feeling less than confident and filled with many voices. There were many thoughts swimming around my head as if in a race. The thoughts were not caring, supportive, or loving. They were self-defeating. They were the ramblings of a mind telling me why I should not, could not, can’t, not good enough, I am a failure and it went on and on. I kept taking deep breaths searching for the present moment, searching for my divinity that says I can do anything, and I am everything. I was quickly reminded why my teachers and guides have been instructing me to stop thinking. These thoughts were making me feel awful. I did not want to get out of bed and face the world. However, today was an important day. I had been anticipating it for the past few days. Today I have the opportunity to step on the path of a second chance at a dream that I had many years ago. Today I had a job interview. This was no way for me to proceed successfully. I had to silent the voices and thoughts moving around my head. These voices were going to be my doom, and stop my creation of landing this job, before I even had the opportunity. Luckily, I knew just what to do. I was able to observe thoughts without engaging with and stepping towards them. I knew that they were not who I am at all. They were completely self-loathing, and there was a peeling away of whom I am not happening. Many times these thoughts will appear as they are being released from our energy especially as we awake from the dream state. Our subconscious and spirits do a lot of work on the ethereal plane at night as we sleep. However, as we move back into the body as we awake, those things that we did not release while sleeping, sometimes take a hold of us and we awake feeling awful. They can disorient us, and make us not feel safe. There are a few tools that you can use to stop these thoughts:
1. Be the observer. Notice that you are not these thoughts. This will help you create a separation from your thoughts and shift back into who you are.
2. As you observe notice how these thoughts are making you feel, and shift your emotions to something that feels good such as a great sense of well-being.
3. Put a smile on your face and breathe. Your breath becomes stagnant while you sleep. Breathe new life into your body. Breathe in success, certainty, and well-being.
4. Sit in a meditative position, take a deep breath, follow your breath, see a rose out in front of you, and ask it to collect up doubt and failure out of your space.
(The breathing and rose techniques are available on my “Tools to Stay Present CD” http://www.donahspassions.com/meditationcd.html)
I was fortunate enough to remove those self-defeating thoughts from my head. I went to my interview excited, successful, capable, confident, and gracious. Looks like I will be getting my second chance. So far, the thoughts still have not creped back up. I am feeling great. Try out the exercises that I have offered you. Allow them to be playful. Remember, no thinking, notice the thoughts that rummage around. They are not who you are. You are so much more that you can ever imagine. Be the light you are meant to be.
About my blog
I am the single parent of two girls, and I have to pat myself on the back. I have done a miraculous job. I have been quite successful. Now, how you measure my success is up to you. However, I will tell you that my children are happy and healthy. My youngest has her own mind, she is independent, and does well in school. My oldest is disabled. She has spent most of her life in hospitals, but she is now happy and healthy. Parenting is becoming more and more challenging. Not only am I single Mom, but I am a single woman, and I have been through a lot to say the least. It has not been easy. I have had the drug addict abusive boyfriend who came back more than once, the husband that disappeared, I have been on welfare, sat by the hospital bed of my oldest child, gone back to school and studied for midterms and finals in hospital rooms, started my own business and received a masters degree. Sound like a lot? This is only some of my life experiences. The greatest thing about all of my experiences is that I have learned from all of them, and they have made me who I am today. I do believe that I have tips and advice to offer. We all have stories to share. I hear women struggling through relationships and parenthood. I hear men trying to figure out how to raise their children alone. I am hear to share what I have done that works, the mistakes that I have had to learn from and offer tips and advice. I do not believe that my way is the only way. I can just share what I know to be true for me. I invite you to make your own judgment call. How we live our lives is how our children will most likely live theirs.
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